Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) offers proven communication skills that work with a tangible framework to help parents stay on course. When applied, parents are often stunned by the dramatic improvement both in their families and in all their relationships. P.E.T. helps to end tantrums, builds cooperation and allows children to solve their own problems.
P.E.T.’s set of communication skills are embedded in a philosophy of valuing and respecting children. Parents will gain knowledge that shows them how to:
- recognise ‘who owns the problem’
- listen so the other feels understood
- assert their needs without blaming or putting down others
- deal with resistance
- handle conflict, so that both parties (parent and child) can live with the outcome – “no-lose conflict resolution”
- avoid the use of punishments or rewards
- influence children, and skills for resolving values collisions
P.E.T was devised in 1962 by Dr Thomas Gordon and is widely considered to have been the first parenting course ever taught. The principles of P.E.T. are relationship based, from Dr Gordon’s Theory of Healthy Relationships.
The parenting stance taken in P.E.T. differs markedly from that of behavioural parenting courses. The emphasis in P.E.T. is to improve relationships, and help children develop self-discipline where there is no use of reward or punishment. In contrast, behavioural courses rely on reward and punishment to control child behaviour (a form of external discipline).